


All he needs

by BunnyBopper



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bullying, Canon Compliant, Curse Breaking, Gen, Number Twelve Grimmauld Place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-02-17
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,219
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22773895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyBopper/pseuds/BunnyBopper
Summary: Severus breaks into Grimmauld Place and finds history repeating itself.
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape
Comments: 14
Kudos: 68





	All he needs

Severus didn't know what he was doing anymore. All he knew was that he shouldn't be here. He wasn't welcome. 

And yet he had to be here.

But had he ever truly been welcome at number twelve Grimmauld Place? He'd noticed the way they'd looked at him long before...long before now. No one could miss the poorly disguised sneers, the awkward shift in the air at his presence, the blatant _doubt_. But there would far be worse things waiting for him inside this time. 

Severus pushed open the door with slow caution. This place wasn't for him. It never had been. 

*** 

_“He's a half-blood?”_

_“Looks filthier than that to me.”_

_“Urgh, far too many of them are being put in this house these days.”_

Severus tries to ignore the comments as he sits down at the Slytherin table, but they sting worse than anything those two on the train had thrown at him. He hunches his shoulders, becomes the smallest target possible. 

From across the hall she smiles at him, apologetic yet radiant in her happiness. Her hair blends in perfectly with a sea of Gryffindor red. 

*** 

The breath rushed from his lungs once he stepped over the threshold. A sight worse than he could have imagined met his eyes. In one foolish, irrational moment, he calls out his name. 

"Albus?" 

The horrific figure rushed towards him. A rotted husk of his former self. White bone and blackened flesh and empty eyes and death. Another voice answered him. 

"Severus Snape?" 

*** 

_"Severus Snape I will not ask you again! Are you the one that did this to that poor boy?!"_

Professor McGonagall's voice shakes with rage. The eyes of all their classmates are on him. He doesn’t need to look, already knows the scene; sniggers behind hands, nudges of elbows, the sheer glee of seeing someone else suffer. 

He opens his mouth to defend himself but stops. It won’t do any good. He's been here before. He'll take the blame. 

*** 

"It…" 

The figure advances on him. Once kind features twist with hatred. 

"...was not I who killed you, Albus." 

He vanishes. Forever this time. Severus breathes once more. 

*** 

_"It wasn't him!"_

_"Miss Evans? Do you have any evidence to support this?"_

_"I...no but...Sev wouldn't! He just wouldn't do something like that!"_

Sev wouldn't. Sev wouldn't. Sev wouldn't. 

*** 

But Severus did. 

Perhaps not in will, but in action? It was undeniable. He killed the one person who still believed in him. 

What was he doing coming back to this place? It was madness! But still he pushes forward. Need driving him on. The rotten stairway creaks as he ascends. Two steps. Three steps. Four. Perhaps there were no more traps? 

Severus screams as he falls through. He cutches hold of the banister to stop himself from being fully submerged by the splintering wood. Several counter-curses spill forth from his lips but they make no difference. He's slipping. He’s going to fall. 

*** 

Severus hits the ground hard. Blood fills his mouth as his own teeth slice through his lip with sickening ease. Someone forces out a laugh. Because that's what you do when someone falls. When someone fails. 

_"Careful there, Snivellus!"_

_"What did you do that for?!"_

_"Aww Evans, s'not my fault he ran into my jinx."_

_"You're nothing but a bully James Potter!"_

A hand appears to help him back onto his feet. 

*** 

The more Severus twists, the more the woods presses into him. His legs kick out at nothingness. The screams of Mrs Black echo through the house. She tears out chunks of hair from her head, such is the strength of the anguish she feels at his presence. 

With the last of his strength, he pulls himself up against the bannister. Hooks one leg around the beam. Then the other. He hopes the rest of the staircase is curse-free as he struggles on. 

It's quiet on the second floor. Unnervingly so. 

He takes one tentative step. Then another. Wand raised the entire time. He tries a doorknob. Slowly turns the handle and peers inside. 

The tiny room is lined with jars wall to wall. Filled with all manner of familiar, unpleasant things. Aconite. Bloodroot. Distilled venom. All the more dangerous ingredients seem to jump out at him. 

It takes Severus a moment to realise why the room reminds him so much of his store cupboard. It's because it is his store cupboard. An illusion, of course. He steps inside. No change. He reaches out to touch a jar of dragon's blood. 

The deafening sound of shattering glass fills his ears as every jar explodes simultaneously. His arms fly over his head defensively, but still the glass tears through his robes along with his skin indiscriminately. Venom and bile and poisonous dust mix together into a terrifying concoction that slips into his bloodstream. Begins to course through his body with every hammer of his heartbeat. 

*** 

Tears sting at the corners of his eyes, threatening to fall into the dripping mess that was his potion. He's half covered in it. Thankfully he hadn't added the hellebore yet or he would be headed straight to the hospital wing. Or worse. He shouldn't be upset. He should be used to his. But still. 

_"You have to keep going,"_ she whispers into his ear. 

But he'd worked so hard. No way Slughorn would give him extra time. Not him. 

_"You can't give up!"_ Her green eyes blaze with determination. _"Let's clean this up first. I'll help you."_

He looks down at his ruined potion, to the boys responsible, then back to Lily. He smiles and nods. 

*** 

Severus breathes through the pain. Keeps his eyes shut tight against the vision threatening to consume him. Counts each steadying inhalation. By the time he gets to ten the glass and whatever deadly ingredients it contained has vanished. 

He opens his eyes to find himself in a bedroom. Damp-ridden with peeling wallpaper and faded posters, but definitely real. He sets to work. 

Severus doesn't know what he's looking for but he needs _something_. A shred to keep him going. Something tangible. Because there was nothing left inside him. 

There must be something here. This can't have been a waste. 

He wouldn't give up. 

Papers flew all around him. Black’s possessions are tossed behind him without a care. Until. There!

*** 

The paper slips into his outstretched hand. A ball crumpled tight. He smooths it against his thigh, eyes on Professor Binns the entire time. His stomach somersaults. The thrill of breaking the rules, no matter how minor. 

The ink has bled into the crinkles of the paper. She hadn't bothered to wait for it to dry in her excitement. Her excitement in talking with _him_. But the handwriting is still legible. 

_Want to work on the Charms essay together?_

He scrawls back. Levitates the wad of paper back over to her when Binns' transparent back is safely turned. 

_Who else are you going to copy off of?_

The note returns. Bouncing off his cheek this time. He grins. 

_I friggin LOVE you!_

He puts it into his pocket. 

*** 

He lets the tears come, doesn't fight them. They fall from his face onto the familiar slanted script. But it doesn't matter. None of the words matter except for four. 

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

It's all he needs. 


End file.
